Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, it’s just not good enough, or that you just don’t measure up? Do you keep yourself from dreaming too big, because someone like you would never receive it anyway? Do you ever feel like you don’t really deserve the good things in life, like love, success, or happiness?Unworthiness has been my arch nemesis throughout my life. I have struggled and struggled to rid myself of this “evil”. Every time I think I have finally banished it from me, the next time I turn around it is right back again. I kept wondering, will this ever end? How many times do I have to clear this before it actually goes away for good? Resigning myself to the fact that maybe this is just one of those things that needs ongoing maintenance, like vacuuming or doing laundry.
Recently, I was receiving a healing session, and the issue of unworthiness came up again. This time, however, I felt my soul accepting it and embracing it as part of me. Not part of me that I needed to get rid of, like an infection or a cancer, but part of me that I needed to accept and love, like my hair color or my height.
Ok, I have done similar exercises before around loving all parts of myself, even the things that I might like to change, so I imagined myself embracing this ugly aspect, my unworthiness. I felt myself accepting my unworthiness, but I’ll admit, not much changed.
The next step was what changed everything. I was guided to accept my gifts, all of my gifts, even the ones that I kept hidden from others. A fair amount of fear popped up, fear of being criticized, fear of others response, etc. I had wanted to keep those things safe and protected. I was shown that keeping my gifts hidden was not keeping them safe, it was shutting them down and not letting them live. They were only my gifts if I actually used them!
Clearing away the fear, allowed my gifts to expand within me. I felt myself embracing all of these gifts, talents and all that was unique about me. As this happened, I realized that the unworthiness shrunk. Shifting my attention and energy to accepting my uniqueness, took the energy away from the unworthiness. They both exist within me, but it was my choice which one I wanted to feed!
It is the same principles as thinking positive thoughts, and avoiding negativity. Or when manifesting, focusing on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Paying attention to where our energy is focused, is a very powerful agent of change, healing and transformation.
I had always thought that the opposite of unworthiness was worthiness, which is true, but it was a difficult leap to make, to suddenly believe myself worthy when I had been trained my whole life to think that I was not. The shift in perspective to embracing my uniqueness and gifts opened the door to believing that I was in fact good enough and worthy, but in an indirect way.
Here are some ways to cultivate this awareness and transformation in your daily practice:
- Affirmations- creating a statement about embracing your gifts, repeat this throughout the day and post in prominent places as a reminder.
- Journaling- writing down something good about yourself each day, writing about how you can use your gifts and bring them out into the world.
- Meditation- Visualize or feel yourself embracing your gifts and uniqueness while in meditation, expanding them and allowing them to fill you.
- Self-nurturing- Find activities to nurture and indulge your uniqueness, your creativity, your spark. How can you honor this part of you in a loving and nurturing way?
- Service- Find one way each day to use your gifts, especially the ones that have been hidden. How can you bring them out? How can you use your gifts to serve others?
Creating a daily practice to change your thinking from unworthiness to self-acceptance, will make a powerful difference in how you see yourself, and how you present yourself to the world. The world truly needs all of your gifts…let your light shine its brightest!